Imitate the conductor at the Philharmonic Sneak up behind people Staple papers in the middle of the sheet Face the other way in a crowded elevator Call all the names in a phone book Protest something Produce a magazine that consists entirely of insert cards Address everyone as "chico" or "chica" Develop a habit of never giving a direct answer Ask a complete stranger his name and write it in a book. When he asks you what the book is say it's your "Book of Suspects" Dress up as Santa Claus for Halloween Call everything a thingamajig Develop a habit of randomly quoting from "Green Eggs and Ham" Give everyone a hard time Make old people think they're going deaf Suddenly say in a loud voice "I am Zoltan, conqueror of the free world." Mispronounce really common names like Dan and Joe Glue a twenty dollar bill to the sidewalk and watch someone go crazy trying to pick it up Dress up like a cowboy and make everyone call you Tex Write crappy lists like this Talk like the guys in Swingers. "Baby, you are so money." Point out which people need haircuts and shaves Fill up someone's answering machine tape with death metal Between every sip of coffee go "aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" While in an elevator, hum the "friends" theme song and clap at the clapping part Go to The Gap and feel the mannequin's breasts Dress like you're color blind and criticize other people's clothing Quote from the bible Quote from a Howard Stern book Start every sentence with "Ooh la la" Gather up a bunch of fat guys and try to exceed the weight limit on an elevator Ignore the popular girl at school who all the guys fawn over Blame everything on Keyser Soze Set up a really long joke and then forget the punchline, but insist it was really funny