Things To Do
  1. Imitate the conductor at the Philharmonic
  2. Sneak up behind people
  3. Staple papers in the middle of the sheet
  4. Face the other way in a crowded elevator
  5. Call all the names in a phone book
  6. Protest something
  7. Produce a magazine that consists entirely of insert cards
  8. Address everyone as "chico" or "chica"
  9. Develop a habit of never giving a direct answer
  10. Ask a complete stranger his name and write it in a book. When he asks you what the book is say it's your "Book of Suspects"
  11. Dress up as Santa Claus for Halloween
  12. Call everything a thingamajig
  13. Develop a habit of randomly quoting from "Green Eggs and Ham"
  14. Give everyone a hard time
  15. Make old people think they're going deaf
  16. Suddenly say in a loud voice "I am Zoltan, conqueror of the free world."
  17. Mispronounce really common names like Dan and Joe
  18. Glue a twenty dollar bill to the sidewalk and watch someone go crazy trying to pick it up
  19. Dress up like a cowboy and make everyone call you Tex
  20. Write crappy lists like this
  21. Talk like the guys in Swingers. "Baby, you are so money."
  22. Point out which people need haircuts and shaves
  23. Fill up someone's answering machine tape with death metal
  24. Between every sip of coffee go "aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
  25. While in an elevator, hum the "friends" theme song and clap at the clapping part
  26. Go to The Gap and feel the mannequin's breasts
  27. Dress like you're color blind and criticize other people's clothing
  28. Quote from the bible
  29. Quote from a Howard Stern book
  30. Start every sentence with "Ooh la la"
  31. Gather up a bunch of fat guys and try to exceed the weight limit on an elevator
  32. Ignore the popular girl at school who all the guys fawn over
  33. Blame everything on Keyser Soze
  34. Set up a really long joke and then forget the punchline, but insist it was really funny