7 Jobs

1. The guy who comes up with all those variations of coffee for Starbucks. I’d love to sit around all day drinking different concoctions of coffee and cream. Course, I’d never be able to fall asleep on the job.

2. A hitman. I think it would be really neat to walk up to someone with a silenced gun and say "Excuse me sir, I have to whack you," and then get paid for it.

3. The guy at NASA who does the countdowns. Such power and authority. Actually, I want this job just so I can say "3...2...4! Just kidding folks!" This is also the only job in the world that has a practical application for math.

4. A lumberjack. A tough, rugged, flannel-wearing manly man roaming the woods with an axe and a chainsaw, cutting down trees, severely damaging the ecosystem, and destroying animal’s homes. Yeah! Right on!

5. One of those Grateful Dead fans who follow the band from concert to concert, except I’d follow some other band. The Grateful Dead suck.

6. A pirate, so I can have an excuse for walking around with a parrot on my shoulder. And I like that yo ho yo ho a pirate’s life for me song too.

7. An art critic. It would be neat to criticize someone’s creative output and ruin their lives with just one negative remark. Heh heh