Glue some forks pointed up onto a box and give someone a shoe rack. Wrap up a fruitcake and give it as a doorstop. Or, wrap up a doorstop and give it as a fruitcake. Get a plastic bag, fill it with mud and give your little nephew a big Bag O’ Mud. Nail a stick onto another stick in a cross shape and give your superstitious brother a Vampire Warder-offer. Take down that model plane hanging from your ceiling and give your little brother the newest rage, a reverse-model that he can take apart himself. Wrap up a rock and give your aunt some fossilized dinosaur feces. Make your 5-year-old sister draw something and give your dad a genuine recently discovered Picasso painting. Put a bunch of aluminum cans, plastic bottles, and old newspapers in a paper bag and give your niece a Junior Recycler’s Starter Kit. Find some junk in your garage, put it all in a box and give your uncle a Thrift Store Shopper Beginner’s Kit. Put some shit in a paper bag and give your little brother(who you hate) a surprise grab bag where he can reach in and grab a surprise gift. Find a yellowed, ancient, stiff newspaper and give your dad genuine ancient parchment paper. Kill some bugs, stuff them in a case and give your brother some additions to his bug collection. Buy a roll of stamps and give your sister some additions to her stamp collection. Rip the covers off a phone book and give your convict brother-who’s in jail-a list of prospective pen pals. Fill a nondescript brown bag with condoms, a porno magazine, maxi-pads, lubricant, a home enema kit, handcuffs, candles, a hamster, whipped cream, and a jock strap, and give it to your girlfriend(or boyfriend) with a note saying you have something "special" planned. Fill a plastic bag with plastic bags and give your aunt a Big Ol’ Bag O’ Bags with Reusable Wrapper. Wrap up some wrapping paper, and when they open it up and don’t find anything say, "You broke it, that’s why." Glue a fork onto a stick and give someone a back scratcher. Fill a plastic bag with rocks and give your sister a Junior Rock Collecter’s Starter Kit. Poke a small hole in a box and give someone a pinhole camera. Stick a cabbage on a G.I. Joe doll and give your sister a Cabbage Patch Doll Glue a wood plank onto a turtle and give your mom a turtle coffee table Find a log and give your parents a centerpiece. Give everyone you know a zine. Put some nails in a 2 by 4 and give your brother some nails in a 2 by 4. Steal some bricks from a construction site and give your parents wheel blocks for their cars. Sew the sleeves of a shirt to the back and give your uncle a straitjacket. Cut all the hair off a Barbie head, put it on a G.I. Joe doll and give your brother a Shannon Faulkner doll, the First Female To Attend The Citadel. Carve out the inside of 2 blocks of wood and give your mom some Dutch clogs.