- Glue some forks pointed up onto a box and give someone a shoe rack.
- Wrap up a fruitcake and give it as a doorstop. Or, wrap
up a doorstop and give it as a fruitcake.
- Get a plastic bag, fill it with mud and give your little
nephew a big Bag O’ Mud.
- Nail a stick onto another stick in a cross shape and give
your superstitious brother a Vampire Warder-offer.
- Take down that model plane hanging from your ceiling and
give your little brother the newest rage, a reverse-model that
he can take apart himself.
- Wrap up a rock and give your aunt some fossilized dinosaur feces.
- Make your 5-year-old sister draw something and give your
dad a genuine recently discovered Picasso painting.
- Put a bunch of aluminum cans, plastic bottles, and old
newspapers in a paper bag and give your niece a Junior Recycler’s
- Find some junk in your garage, put it all in a box and
give your uncle a Thrift Store Shopper Beginner’s Kit.
- Put some shit in a paper bag and give your little
brother(who you hate) a surprise grab bag where he can reach
in and grab a surprise gift.
- Find a yellowed, ancient, stiff newspaper and give your
dad genuine ancient parchment paper.
- Kill some bugs, stuff them in a case and give your brother
some additions to his bug collection.
- Buy a roll of stamps and give your sister some additions
to her stamp collection.
- Rip the covers off a phone book and give your convict
brother-who’s in jail-a list of prospective pen pals.
- Fill a nondescript brown bag with condoms, a porno magazine,
maxi-pads, lubricant, a home enema kit, handcuffs, candles, a
hamster, whipped cream, and a jock strap, and give it to your
girlfriend(or boyfriend) with a note saying you have something
- Fill a plastic bag with plastic bags and give your aunt a
Big Ol’ Bag O’ Bags with Reusable Wrapper.
- Wrap up some wrapping paper, and when they open it up and
don’t find anything say, "You broke it, that’s why."
- Glue a fork onto a stick and give someone a back scratcher.
- Fill a plastic bag with rocks and give your sister a Junior
Rock Collecter’s Starter Kit.
- Poke a small hole in a box and give someone a pinhole camera.
- Stick a cabbage on a G.I. Joe doll and give your sister a
Cabbage Patch Doll
- Glue a wood plank onto a turtle and give your mom a turtle
- Find a log and give your parents a centerpiece.
- Give everyone you know a zine.
- Put some nails in a 2 by 4 and give your brother some nails
in a 2 by 4.
- Steal some bricks from a construction site and give your
parents wheel blocks for their cars.
- Sew the sleeves of a shirt to the back and give your uncle
- Cut all the hair off a Barbie head, put it on a G.I. Joe doll
and give your brother a Shannon Faulkner doll, the
First Female To Attend The Citadel.
- Carve out the inside of 2 blocks of wood and give your mom
some Dutch clogs.